Second Wind - A New Perspective

(Next blog: I want to watch a [BLOOPER]!)



As you are all very much aware, I've been struggling with some issues that have really been bringing me down as of late. For those that may not know, I'm going to be in San Antonio for an unknown amount of time. The reason for this is because of a medical issue that is holding me back in training and preventing me from going back home to be with the loves of my life.

A man of my age with a wonderful wife and a sweet daughter. I met him when I was going to the Salt Lake Co. Jail academy plus we carpooled all the time too. We got to know each other pretty well and really enjoyed doing things together. It felt like a ton of bricks fell in my lap when I heard the news because I meant to go catch up with him once I got back to Utah (he was a 68W too) but now I can only hope that his wife still lives in the same house so I can wish her my sincerest apologies over her loss. God bless you Mark Greenbaum and may you rest in peace.

I thought I had some serious issues until that moment struck me. Yes, its terribly hard being away from Katie and Caleb right now but I saw things in a whole new light after receiving the news about Mark. I may be gone for some unknown amount of time yet but at least I'll have the chance to get back home and be with my family again in the near future. Its a huge eye opener knowing what I'm blessed with and I can't even begin to feel, understand or even fathom the pain that the Greenbaum family is going through. I love my family dearly. I absolutely want to get back to them in the shortest amount of time possible but I want to make them proud and I want to have something to do job-wise when I get back home that will help us all out financially. I will keep you all posted as I find out more too.

Earlier this week I literally found myself in a pool of my own tears. I don't recall the last time I cried as I hard as I did that night (probably at finding out the news of Katie's grandmothers passing) but it was good to let out all the pent up frustration that had accumulated over the past few weeks (almost two months now) and get it out of my system. I ended up watching a movie with Adam Sandler in it called [i]Reign Over Me[/i]. Its about a man who runs into an old roommate from college. This friend ended up losing his entire family in the attacks of 9/11 and pretty much gives a story of how he copes and makes it through his current state as he tries to forget his past. I believe it was after watching that movie that I broke down. Being away from family, knowing I wouldn't graduate with my class at the end of the week and having the recent news of just losing a friend seemed like it was more than I could possibly handle.

I know now (as I've always known) that I will be back with my family soon and I just have to remain positive. My friends/68W class graduated yesterday and I know they are just starting a life that will give them the chance to save the lives of many others and thats something that drives me as well as knowing that my recently passed friend was a 68W too which gives me yet another motivational factor/drive to complete my course, better myself and prove to myself that I can do this without quitting. Most my friends are gone now while others leave next week for Airborne school but I'll still have a few left with me that are holdovers like myself that should make the passing of time easier to handle while I'm away. It just reminds me that I'm not the only one suffering. In fact, I had a friend come in last night at curfew who was crying like mad too, for the same reason I had been earlier in the week, and it was good to know that others need as much love and consideration as I do while coping through these stressful times.

I just want to thank you all for your love, support and prayers... not only for me but in behalf of Katie and Caleb too. I couldn't ask for a better family and great friends that only want the best of me and my family. May I make you all proud as I struggle through the finishing touches of being so long departed from my family. I love you all and again thank you for all you do for us.